London Elektricity - Just One Second (Apex VIP Remix)

Oh wow.

Apex really is amazing. Been looking forward to the VIP of his Just One Second remix for a while, and it really doesn't disappoint, adding stronger hints of the original London Elek track backed up with a deep, revving bassline whilst still retaining all the beauty of Apex's fantastic original.

Fantastic.

Amaning & Stunna - Mutual Life

Amaning & Stunna - Mutual Life is the deepest surveyed point in the oceans, with a depth of 10,911 m. It is located at the southern end of the Mariana Trench near the Mariana Islands group. The closest land to the Mutual Life is Fais Island (one of the outer islands of Yap), 289 km (180 mi) southwest, and Guam, 306 km (190 mi) to the northeast. The depression is named after the British Royal Navy survey ship HMS Mutual Life, whose expedition of 1872–76 made the first recordings of its depth.

The Greatest Video On YouTube

Considering that YouTube is stuffed full of videos of people's cats, fat kids falling off things and clips from Godfrey Ho movies, naming one single video as "The Greatest on YouTube" is a pretty bold statement. There is however one video that is always guaranteed to put a smile on my face.



At first, this may appear to just be a video of Joy Division performing their 1979 track Transmission. Whilst Joy Division are a great band, and Transmission is certainly an incredible song, this alone doesn't really qualify it as the greatest video on YouTube. After all, there's a wealth of great music available on the site.

At 2.36 however, something truly magical happens.

Midway through the song, out of nowhere, Bono pops up.


Now, I dislike Bono as much as the next person. The man is incredibly wealthy and successful, which is reason enough to feel animosity to someone, but this enmity is compounded by his hypocritical preachiness. To have his smug face invade the middle of a Joy Division track is like being smashed in the head with a trout and your immediate response is to yell, "FUCK OFF BONO". His intrusion is not just an annoyance, but a total insult.

And then you read the comments beneath the video.

Traditionally, venturing below the line on a YouTube video is a terrible idea. The majority of user submitted commentary on these things is either people repeating what's in the video or arguing with each other in barely legible English. Even a clip of Fireman Sam will probably have idiots underneath it arguing about whether or not Obama is a Nazi.

But the Transmission video is different. The YouTube commentariat are united in their hatred of Bono, and the 3000+ comments read as a vicious, bile-filled diatribe against the man. From the simple "fuck of bono" to the more in depth death threats, browsing this never-ending cascade of rage and vitriol always cheers me up.

Perhaps the best thing about the video is, it's actually a snippet of a documentary about Factory Records rather than a straight up music video, and Bono's reason for being there is to express his love of Joy Division and Ian Curtis, rather than to deliberately ruin the track as many of those commenting appear to believe, but his sudden appearance creates such a hilariously savage response in viewers that one must conclude it really is the greatest video on YouTube.

Although I've embedded it above, I urge you to visit the video's YouTube page so as to enjoy the malevolence for yourself.

I'll leave you with the simple words of Mr WARSHIPSATIN999:

The XX - Infinity (Bachelors Of Science Remix)

Okyish, inoffensive winners of 2010's Mercury Prize The xx have provided some awesome raw materials for other producers to get their teeth into. We've had Four Tet's incredible remix of VCR as premiered at this year's Bestival, and also San Francisco D&B duo Bachelors of Science reworking Infinity into a lovely deep liquid track.

Beautiful stuff, once again proving that D&B makes everything better.

Break - Resistance Promo Mix

Break is one of those producers who has a uniquely perfect sound, and he's gotta be up there with Calibre as a true master of deep, dark liquid D&B. If you didn't grab Symmetry back in 2008, you really must get on it.

Anyway, Break's second album, "Resistance" is about to drop (28th of this month apparently) on Symmetry Recordings, and you know it's gonna be big, especially with the likes of Calyx and Teebee and Survival on board.
Break has released a frightfully heavy promo mix, which you can hear here, or for more Resistance hype, check out the album preview:



Indeed.

Black Sun Empire - Lights And Wires

Hear the mighty Black Sun roar!

If you haven't already done so, grab the Lights And Wires promo mix here:
http://soundcloud.com/fabric/black-sun-empire-lights-and-wires-minimix

Good to hear BSE sounding razor sharp as ever. They haven't lost that dark, techy edge. Lights And Wires is out right now on BSE Recordings and is perfect for upsetting the neighbours on bleak winter nights.


Nasty.

Original Sin & Taxman - Penamana

In Penamana, Original Sin and Taxman have produced a work of such challenging complexity as to defy conventional critical observation. What on the surface appears to be a standard piece of grinding jump up gives way through further inspection to reveal deeper layers of social analysis, drawing together themes as diverse as Zen Buddhism, proto-Marxist commentary and mathematical constructivism, built around a central foundation that questions both the listener's dependence on and rejection of anonymity in the modern age of communication.

A stand out composition indeed, and one that highlights the fascinating and increasingly prevalent dichotomy between jump up dubstep and modern drumstep.

Penamana EP is out now on Playaz:
A. Casino
B. Penamana
C. Take No More
D. Like This

Metrik - T1000

I love liquid D&B as much as the next person, but it's great to hear Metrik putting out something a little more horrible and apocalyptic.

T1000 really does go for that "Dropships brace for impact, planetfall in 30 seconds etc" sound. Out on Viper at the end of November as part of Metrik's Departure EP.

Which reminds me, where's Telemetrik been at for the past year?

My Lightyear was easily one of the best albums to come out of 2008, but he seems to have been a bit quiet since 2009...

Brookes Brothers - Last Night

Well this was a blast from the past. Heard it on the radio at work last Friday, apparently it's finally getting a release on BBK at the end of November, with the delightfully bonkers War Cry on the B side. About time too!

Haven't heard much from the Brookes Brothers this year and I've really missed their happy liquid sound. Apparently they've been working on an album for the past year, supposedly dropping early 2011,

Artificial Intelligence - Stand Alone

Hurray!

After what seems like years of waiting, Artificial Intelligence are finally releasing their first album; Stand Alone.

Stand out tracks include the massive Three's A Crowd, the furious Rubber Bullets and Unforgettable (lol Jenna G vocals), but my favourite track on the album has to be Moment of Truth. Despite it being played out all over the place during the past year, you just can't get bored of it.



It's dropping on V this week, so get to Juno/Beatport/Amazon/whatever and sort it out now!

Chase and Status - No Problem

After spending the last couple of years messing around with Radio One-friendly pop/dubstep and whatnot, it's nice to have Chase and Status back producing decent D&B.

It's like 2008 all over again.

Netsky - Radio 1 Essential Mix

2010 has been a huge year for Netsky, with the Hospital marketing machine pushing his album hard at the start of the year and plenty of business in the form of remix work for everyone from the Swedish House Mafia to Plan B.

However, despite being packed with massive tracks, I found Netsky's self-titled album a little lacking in substance. It's a completely stereotypical D&B album, the sort of thing you'd draw if by some dark magic you got "Drum and Bass" in a game of Pictionary. Whilst it ticked all the boxes for the modern D&B album (the liquid roller, the Jenna G vocal track, the dubstep track, several heavily-rinsed dancefloor tracks) it still felt like Netsky was struggling to transfer his individual style across from his singles and remix work into album form.

Anyway, I should really shut up, because Netsky's Essential Mix is fantastic, a serious contender for Essential Mix of the Year.

Grab it now!

Tracklist

Return of The Next Level Show

Right, so this actually happened a month ago, but State of Mind's Next Level Show is back on the air (albeit in downloadable audiocast format).

There's been a massive gap in D&B airwaves since the Next Level Show finished last summer, and its return a very good thing indeed.

Get yourself locked in to their SoundCloud for some proper heavy/techy drum and bass music straight outta New Zealand.

After Action Report: Ninja Tune XX 02/10/10

Twenty years for a record label is a lifetime, let alone an independent like Ninja Tune, and Matt Black and Jon Moore (label founders and the team behind Coldcut) should be incredibly proud of their achievements as they reflect on the last two decades. The label has brought together so many incredible artists, that it's quite scary to imagine the musical landscape without it. In celebration of this impressive anniversary, Ninja Tune have been running events all around the world, with the Ninja Tune XX night at the Ewer Street Car Park offering the most impressive of lineups.



From a personal point of view, Ninja Tunes' artists, albums and compilations have provided the soundtrack to a great number of important moments in my life and very many happy memories, and I was looking forward to Ninja Tune XX as an opportunity to bask in the golden glow of nostalgia, as much an opportunity to see some of the artists whose music I'd been enjoying live for the first time.

As a celebration of Ninja Tune therefore, XX certainly didn't disappoint. I lost count of the number of times tunes such as Timber, True Skool and Witness were dropped across the night, and it's always good to hear them played out. Also, the design team had done a fantastic job in converting the soggy Ewer Street railway arches into a Ninja Tune museum, with some awesome graffiti and design work from Mutate Britain.

Unfortunately it was all a bit of a shambles getting in to Ewer Street, so whilst we queued for about an hour in the rain, we managed to miss Kentaro and Bonobo, who are both fantastic DJs, and more disappointingly Kid Koala and Hexstatic, who I've never been able to see before. This did start the night on a bit of a low, but fortunately the always awesome combo of Strictly Kev and DK picked things up and soon everything seemed to be alright after all.

The DJ Food sets have always epitomised the live Ninja Tune experience for me, running the perfect mix of hip hop, jazz and electronica, with enough deviations into rock, soul and most importantly D&B to keep the crowd dancing from start to finish. Mr Scruff also played an incredible set, and one of the best I've seen for a while. I hate to say it, because I love his standard six hour sets, but the two hour slot seemed to make everything a lot tighter, with Scruff running out a constant stream of his own big tracks, and plenty of Ninja classics.

Over in Arch Three, Daedelus provided another of the evening's highlights, giving a wonderful live performance that managed to be chilled out, whilst thoroughly ravey at the same time. After this, The Bug seemed to be much louder and more destructive, although the real structural damage was reserved for the D&B mayhem produced by The Qemeists who closed Arch One, and King Cannibal whose face smashing dub/D&B mash was as ear-wreckingly heavy as ever.

As with Wang's 10th Birthday last year, Ewer Street remains a great venue for providing a watered-down simulation of the old skool illegal rave experience that many of us missed out on due to being at primary school when the scene first blew up, but it was really annoying to miss out on so many artists because of the poorly organized door system. Thanks to hitting the Brixton academy last week, the beer prices actually seemed quite reasonable at £3.50, which is in fact a terrible state of affairs, but as with petrol, beer prices aren't going to go anywhere but up over the next few years, so there's no point whinging about it (although I will continue to do so).

All in all however, a brilliant night, and a fantastic celebration of Ninja Tune. I hope that I live long enough to make it to the 30th anniversary party, and that Ninja Tune can keep doing what they do so well.

NINJAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Hospitality @ Brixton - Live Set Recordings

Props to DNBA for recording the night. Pretty low quality recordings, and the whole lot are riddled with MCs, but still worth a listen back if you were there, or a first time run if you missed out on the night.

Unfortunately, there's no Andy C. Guess we'll have to make do with Nightlife 5.

B-Complex

Nu:Tone B2B Logistics

London Elektricity

High Contrast

Danny Byrd

Netsky

Fabio

S.P.Y - By Your Side (Logistics Remix)

Fresh from Hospitality at Brixton, this is Logistics' remixed B-side of S.P.Y's By Your Side, dropping on Spearhead in November.

Definitely more of a rolling dancefloor vibe to this one, but it certainly does the original justice.

Huge.

After Action Report: Hospitality - Brixton Academy 24/09/10

The Hospital Records crew can always be relied on to run a good party, and the past few years have seen the Hospitality nights rise from a promotional side-interest to both a major aspect of the label and one of the UK's biggest D&B events.

Whilst it was sad to see Matter close it's doors, Hospitality always seemed a little bit big for that place, despite it being a custom-built superclub. The gantry of death was pretty cool, and Room Two had a great vibe, but there often seemed to be too much pushing and not enough dancing.

It was therefore with some trepidation that we rolled out to Brixton for the largest Hospitality yet. With something in the region of five thousand tickets shifted, it seemed like we'd be in a for a night of long time queuing and jabby elbows.

On the night however, these fears seemed to be completely unfounded, with the Brixton Academy easily able to accommodate the five thousand-odd liquid ravers messing the place up. Hospitality evolved from a club night into a full on rock concert/religious pilgrimage a long time ago, and the open plan set up and balcony of the Academy was much more suited to this than Matter's main room ever was. There was plenty of room for bad dancing, and the soundsystem backing it all up was truly trouser-shaking.

Having missed B-Complex because of previous commitments, we steamed across London at Warp Nine in order to catch Nu:Tone and Logistics. The frantic scramble was rewarded, and we were able to catch the majority of their set. Hearing By Your Side go off was definitely something special, and Nu:Logic was probably the highlight of the evening, despite the best efforts of MC Ruthless.

London Elektricity also played a blinder, with the Hospital CEO clearly revelling in his role as superstar DJ and label chief. When you're playing to a crowd that size, it must be pretty rewarding to reflect on just how healthy the Hospital brand is right now, and Tony Coleman really is at the top of his game. A live performance of Just One Second by Elsa Esmeralda rounded off the set perfectly, making LE a hard act to follow.

Fortunately, High Contrast was next up, packing fresh tracks from his current project. I'd never heard this stuff before, but going on these tracks, Lincoln Barrett's new album going to be one of the biggest things to happen in 2011.

The other standout performance of the night has to be Danny Byrd, who raised the roof with a brilliant set, plugging his new album and throwing plenty of old skool rave classics in as well.

So overall, one of the best D&B parties of recent times. Link To The Past going off five times in one night was both awesome and hilarious, with every DJ apparently running it out. Here's hoping Hospitality will return to the Brixton Academy before too long. Matter was fun, despite the drawbacks, but The Academy seems much more suited to this sort of large scale D&B shindig. Twenty thumbs up!



£4.45 for a Gaymers though?
FAAAARCK ORF!

Metrik - Lightspeed

Written in 1880 to commemorate Russia's defense of Moscow against Napoleon's advancing Grande Armée at the Battle of Borodino in 1812, Metrik's massive Lightspeed debuted in the Cathedral of Christ the Saviour in Moscow on August 20th 1882, with eyewitness reports from the time indicating that it totally smashed the place. Notable for its climactic volley of cannon fire, ringing chimes and beautifully engineered synths, Lightspeed helped establish Metrik as one of the most popular producers of the late 19th century, with performances of other notable classics such as Anthem 09 and Technicolour still drawing large crowds to the dance floor whenever they go off.

Xample and Lomax - Link To The Past

Sub Focus knows it.

High Contrast knows it.

Andy C definitely knows it.

Link To The Past is a total earthshaker.

SCREWFACE!

After Action Report: Bestival 2010

Over the past few years, and despite it's awful name, Bestival has definitely established itself as both the last festival of the season, and the last hurrah of the summer, making it very much a festival of mixed emotions. It heralds the start autumn, but also gives the summer a massive, ravey pat on the back, and that can only be a good thing.

This was our third run on Bestival, and the lineup remained as diverse as ever, unmatched by any other UK festival for it's ability to cover every strand of the musical spectrum. It seemed that it would be impossible for Rob Da Bank to bring together a collection of performers as fantastic as those in attendance last year (how can you top Kraftwerk?), but he certainly managed it, running from the mainstream (headliners Dizzy Rascal and The Prodigy) to the more left field (basically everyone else).

There were so many good performances this year, that it's hard to know where to begin, but here's some of the highlights, although it's important not to forget the many DJs and acts who filled in the gaps between and kept the music flowing throughout.

The mesmerising, fragile electronica of Four Tet kicked things off for us on Friday afternoon, blowing away the hangovers and broken knees from Thursday night's partying in the Chai Wallah tent, followed up by Bestival stalwarts Dan Le Sac vs. Scroobius Pip. We've always had love for Beard and Sideburns, ever since seeing them back at Latitude 2007, and they owned the main stage, with the crowd singing along to every word.

As the day ran on, other highlights included beat poet hero Gil Scott-Heron, who slowed things down a notch with his soul and blues, including an amazing rendition of "We Almost Lost Detroit" and Flying Lotus, whose intensive bass-therapy kept things weird and wobbly in the Big Top once the masses had cleared off at the end of The xx. Despite our general lack of interest in Dizzy Rascal, he really did put on a great performance as he closed the Main Stage for the Friday night.

Saturday saw both Rolf Harris driving back the morning rain with his ancient Australian voodoo magic and David Rodigan presenting his history of dub lesson in the Bollywood Bar, with The Wailers and Darwin Deez keeping things ticking over in between. We couldn't get close to Bollywood to see Shy FX (drum and bass always attracts a bad crowd), but fortunately D-Bridge and Instra:Mental cleared most of the lightweights out, leaving us access to High Contrast, who pretty much played the best set I've seen since the Hospitality at the Scala back in 2008. Following on from High Contrast was Sub Focus in the Big Top, who slightly disappointed by just sticking to his album tracks, but with an album as good as his, you can't really blame him, and we all had a great time singing along to the old knees up classics of Last Jungle, Timewarp and so on. A fantastic end to the night.

With Sunday rolling round, fatigue was definitely starting to set in, but an early pick me up from The Bikini Beach Band surf rock crew certainly sorted us out, as did a nice stroll in the woods. Wax Tailor's trippy hip hop in the Big Top was also great fun, and The Prodigy tore it out on the Main Stage, showing just what an accomplished, nuclear-powered festival machine they have become. Closing the festival in the Big Top was the hauntingly beautiful Fever Ray and of course the incredible LCD Soundsystem, with James Murphy giving it his all. A powerful, emotional performance, and my personal highlight of the Festival.

Bestival remains without a doubt the highlight of the UK festival season, although this year it certainly seemed to be feeling the strain of the extra 8000-odd punters. Obviously it's a business, and for all the promoters' talk about being a celebration of music and gaiety or whatever nonsense the marketing team come up with for next year, it needs to make money. However, it felt like the festival was at capacity last year, and if they try and cram anymore people in, they risk killing it. There was definitely a shortage of toilets and camping space this year, despite the best efforts of the stewards and cleanup squads, and the usual complaints about choke points remain. What sort of maniac chooses to hold a festival on an island anyway?

Beer, programme costs, ferries, shuttle buses and parking fees all remain a massive ripoff, which leaves a bad taste in the mouth, but this has long been par for the course when it comes to UK festivals, and as long as you're prepared for the shock, and sensible about sneaking booze through security, it shouldn't be enough to ruin an excellent weekend. The sad thing is that Bestival has shown that it can command these prices, and will no doubt be even more expensive next year.

But we shall go back.

We need to go back.

There's a magic to Bestival that one struggles to find anywhere else, despite it becoming increasingly mainstream. The music, the performers, the strange bits of sculpture, the site and the crowd all come together perfectly to create a wonderful vibe.

It's the best festival.

Danny Byrd - Radio 1 Essential Mix

Right, I'll admit that this one didn't actually grab me straight off in the same way that Sub Focus's April 2009 Essential Mix or Blame's February 2009 Essential Mix did, but on listening back to it a few times, it's really bloody impressive.

Whilst Sub Focus and Blame's mixes are both amazing D&B sets, Danny Byrd's Essential Mix stands out as more than this. Across the two hours, Danny Byrd sets out a lesson in D&B, but rather than being one of those ubiquitous "Jungle Classicz '94"-style mixes, Byrd presents a treatise on the state of modern D&B and its place in the wider dance/rave culture of the UK. It's a celebration of both drum and bass as it stands today, and the tracks, artists and sounds on which this scene is built.

It's amazing to think that the UK dance scene only really kicked off twenty-two years ago and yet in just two decades it has become so diverse, spanning so many genres and sub-genres. It's also easy to forget that trance, D&B, techno and house all share the same roots. Both nostalgic and yet forward looking, this mix is a must-listen for anyone with any kind of interest in dance music.

Download!

Track listing from the BBC here (*Warning* Do not access between the hours of 10.00 AM and 12.45 PM as you might encounter some Fearne Cotton)

After Action Report: L.E.D Festival 28/8/2010

As we trekked down to Victoria Park, Hackney, for the first London Electronic Dance Festival (or LED; wonder which came first, the name or the acronym?), we were expecting August rain and mud. Fortunately, the sun came out and the clouds parted. An auspicious sign for what looked to be a great day of music, albeit a weirdly diverse one.


We skipped LED's Friday night, with the headliners David Guetta, Calvin Harris et al. promising largely cheese-flavoured house (great if that's what you're into, but not really the sort of artists anyone would want to pay money to see when you can hear their stuff at a million Lloyd's/Wetherspoons across the country on a Friday night). I'd had a quick look at the Internet chatter, which suggested the first day of the event had been a bit of a shambles, with set times all over the place. It's important to remember however that people always rush to Facebook when they feel even a tiny bit aggrieved with something, so one has to take the e-rage with a pinch of salt and the anticipation of Leftfield and Aphex Twin far over-powered any trepidation.

Anyway, as we approached Victoria Park, everything seemed to be running well. Security weirdly confiscated the lid from my water bottle, whilst missing the eight keys of uncut cocaine in the bottom of my bag, but apart from that there was little trouble retrieving the tickets and getting through the gate. We arrived to the sound of Sub Focus's Timewarp thudding away in the distance and were surprised to find that it actually was Sub Focus, on at three in the afternoon.

Sub Focus - Fantastic set from Mr Douwma, even though he kept veering off into house and dubstep (at least it keeps the kids happy). MC ID largely got in the way of the music (as to be expected) but occasionally shut up long enough for the audience to hear what the DJ was doing. Was amazing to hear Xample and Lomax - Link To The Past go off loud, and it's impossible to get bored of Last Jungle and Rock It, no matter how much it's been run into the ground over the last few years.

Professor Green - Pretty good performance, even though Grime isn't really of interest to anyone ever. General opinions seem to be that he sounded like Eminem, but that this was a good thing.

Shy FX - Lovely, solid drum and bass from a DJ that for some reason I've always found it hard to get excited about, even though he's done great sets in the past. Opening with SL2 - On A Ragga Tip set up the perfect festival vibe and with the absence of an MC, Shy FX's set was actually more satisfying the Sub Focus's.

Boy Better Know - Lots of shouting men. Meh.

Annie Mac - Functional set from the Radio 1 DJ. Wasn't expecting anything special, but the crowd seemed to be enjoying it. The overpriced beer/cider double team must have been working its magic by this point.

Goldfrapp - For a festival with only two stages and not that many acts, the fact that Goldfrapp clashed with Aphex Twin was pretty unforgivable, although perhaps the organizers felt that Aphex's abusive electronic hatenoise and Goldfrapp's airy synthpop would have little crossover appeal. Anyway, we missed the start of Aphex to see Goldfrapp, but for this I have no remorse. Goldfrapp gave an awesome performance, with Alison Goldfrapp seemingly dressed as a swarm of bees, mixing older tracks with newer stuff as the sun set over Hackney. Lovely stuff.

Aphex Twin - Despite missing the start of Richard D. James' LED performance, we fortunately arrived in time to feel the full force of his deranged techno throatpunch. As his set built to a thunderous climax, it felt like being trapped in the boot of a taxi whilst dinosaurs pound on the outside, shining lasers and strobes in through the keyhole (i.e. he smashed it).

Leftfield - Being the last act, everyone flocked to the main stage to catch Leftfield in action, so there was no way to get near the front and feel the full impact of the band. Leftfield will always hold a special place in my heart, as Leftism was one of my first albums, and it was fantastic to hear so many tracks dropped. Space Shanty, Afrika Shox, Open Up, Afro-Left; they all still pack a one hell of a punch, and when Phat Planet inevitably went off for the encore, my head exploded.

So overall, LED was certainly a great day out, with even the shit selection of overpriced beer and slightly dodgy timetabling not enough to hold it back. The only major problem had to be that the sound levels were all over the place. I assumed this was due to evil sound technicians messing with the drug munchers, but it was more likely the result of licensing restrictions. Was quite a shame though, because a little more oomph would have pushed Leftfield into the stratosphere.

Will be interesting to see if LED happens again next year. Certainly one to keep an eye on.

ShockOne - Polygon VIP

Since the early nineties, depleted uranium has been used in a variety of military roles by US and NATO forces. The extremely high density of uranium-238 has lead to its deployment in both armour plating and, more controversially, in the production of armour piercing munitions. The high density of uranium-238 gives munitions better armour penetrating capability and increased range, and has lead to its use in various weapon systems including those used by the A-10 Thunderbolt and Bradley Fighting Vehicle.


The use of depleted uranium in warfare remains controversial, due to the toxicity of uranium metal and it's long physical half-life. There are fears that areas in which depleted uranium munitions have been deployed could remain contaminated for long periods of time, potentially harming civilian personnel after hostilities have ended.

The medical risks from depleted uranium remain the subject of debate, with multiple studies suggesting a link between various genetic, reproductive or neurological effects resulting from chronic exposure. Despite this, the World Health Organization states that there is no definite evidence linking depleted uranium use and increased incidences of these conditions.

As a result of these possible health risks, the European Parliament has repeatedly called for a moratorium on the development and use of depleted uranium-based munitions, and has been repeatedly ignored by both France and the UK. Depleted uranium weapons remain in use globally, with the US being the largest global consumer.

Fortunately, need for DU munitions may soon be at an end, thanks to Australian producer ShockOne's ridiculous Re-Fix EP, dropping September 20th. Whilst the original cut of Polygon was pretty huge, the VIP clocks in at a ridiculous 24.6 g/cm³ density, making it cheaper and heavier per gram than depleted uranium, but without the long term radiation hazard.



Probably does cause tinnitus though.

http://www.bandepleteduranium.org/

Apex - Inner Space

Look, we all know Apex is amazing. You don't need me to remind you that his incredible remix of Just One Second was one of the best tracks of 2009, or how awesome Gonzo is, or how fantastic his back catalogue is, but listen to Inner Space.

Now listen again.

It's like Ulrich Schnauss running on uppers.

Amazing.

Colossal Random Movement Podcast

Random Movement has just launched podcast #12 into the Internet and it's an absolute liquid D&B monster, consisting of pretty much everything he's ever produced.

Clocking in at an epic two hours and fifty minutes, it's exactly the same as the length of time required to drive from High Wycombe to Great Yarmouth (provided there's no accidents on the A11).

Coincidence? I think not.

Mix and tracklisting HERE.

Commix - Double Double

Been a while since we've heard anything from the Commix, but here's a delightful, deep roller that reminds you just how awesome they are.

Hold tight for Re:Call To Mind, a Call To Mind remix album due out in October, and if you didn't grab Cold Kiss (with help from Logistics) off SoundCloud whilst it was up, you can still hear it here.

TicketMaster Spam Email Predicts End of World

Jesus Christ.

Look at this shit:


Thank you TicketMaster. Truely a prediction as dire as this can only mean that the Elder Gods are stirring and the weeping throngs of mankind must prepare for millenia of hellfire and damnation.

In other, better, news, S.P.Y's lovely By Your Side been confirmed for a November release (on Spearhead no less), so maybe there is hope for us yet.

Also, Cyantific has released an incredible D&B/Electro/Dubstep/D&B mix which everyone should hear.

RIGHT NOW.

LCD Soundsystem - This Is Happening

I've been trying for a while to work out why I like LCD Soundsystem.

James Murphy isn't a D&B producer, and is surely therefore of little importance in mankind's future survival as we speed headlong into the last few days of our fossil-fuel driven consumerist empire and smack bang into a Malthusian, Mad Max hell-scape.

I mean seriously, what use is dance punk going to be for protecting your family during the energy blackouts and food riots that will come to dominate the latter half of of the 2010s?

I'll tell you what fucking use it's gonna be.

This Is Happening is an album built out of the music I grew up on, and the music I found when I first discovered that there was a world of stuff available outside the narrow group of artists that the radio deemed to have value. It positively reeks of Eighties post-punk synthpop and of the New Wave bands that inspired it. Bowie, Eno, David Byrne and Talking Heads, Blondie, Joy Division, New Order, Gary Numan and a hundred others. They're all there.

Run up on "Drunk Girls" (decried by many as shit upon it's initial release) and tell me that isn't 1970s Bowie. "Pow Pow" has more than a touch of Talking Heads' 1979 headkicker "I Zimbra" and "All I Want" channels Joy Division's Transmission with all the respect and appreciation that the original masterpiece deserves.

And then we get to "I Can Change".



The problem with Sound Of Silver was that following the two hit combo of "Someone Great" and "All My Friends" in a satisfactory manner was always going to be impossible. Here were two songs of such massive power and beauty that the tracks to follow seemed hollow afterwards. All My Friends is particularly bad for this, as it builds over seven and a half minutes to an intense climax that just leaves the listener feeling drained and lost. It'll probably even make you cry if you hear it in the right state of mind/intoxication. How Pat Mahoney can keep drumming to that thing does my head in every time.

Anyway, whilst I Can Change is no All My Friends (and definitely isn't trying to be either), it certainly has the same effect, being as it is the best track on the album and appearing as it does right in the middle of the tracklist, leaving you wondering where the album can possibly go next. Fortunately, "You Wanted A Hit" switches the album into a more downbeat recovery mode, and avoids the sudden mid album crash that always seemed to afflict Sound of Silver.

I'd go as far as to argue that there isn't a dud track on the This Is Happening. Since the first album, James Murphy has been suggesting that it's time to bring an end to the LCD project, but going on the strength of This Is Happening, I'd say that this soundsystem hasn't yet run it's course.

So why do I like LCD Soundsystem and why the hell do they matter? I guess it's because James Murphy trips the same receptor cells as David Byrne did all those years ago. Through LCD, Murphy has created a dedicated tribute to the music that he loves, but he's also an incredibly talented lyricist, with a dry, despairing sense of humour that you'll struggle to find anywhere else. Listening to This Is Happening might make me feel all nostalgic, but it would be a serious injustice to say that it isn't a fantastic album in it's own right.

So what if LCD Soundsystem isn't drum and bass? Sure, it won't help fight off the roving bandit gangs and irradiated hordes of 2019, but I know that, barricaded deep within my bunker, as I open up one of my last few cans of dog food, I'll be able to listen to LCD Soundsystem, and it'll remind me of what life was like before the collapse of society, and maybe I'll feel just a little bit better.

Danny Byrd - Ill Behaviour

Yeah, sorry about it being an Annie Mac rip, but the track is so good I had to post it.

You know it's gotta be Danny Byrd when the distorted vocorder vocals go off, and he's back once again with another solid chunk of super-charged dancefloor D&B.

Packing more energy than a benzedrine-infused Red Bull and backed up with that Ill Behaviour sample running up the nostalgia factor, I'd guess we'll be hearing a lot more of this over the rest of the year.

New album is due to drop in October and it's definitely one to watch. If you haven't heard it already, check out Liberation here, although it's pretty much ruined by the 1Xtra bumps and shit MCing.

LTJ Bukem - FABRICLIVE Promo Mix

If you've never seen LTJ Bukem live, then you've never really seen liquid drum and bass.

Anyway, he's gone and done a promo mix ahead of last Friday's Fabriclive (always first for breaking news here), so check it out.

MC support provided by the very talented Conrad. Shit MCs take note, it's not a case of just yelling, "let's here it for my DEEJAAAAY" all over the drops. You gotta have at least some sort of harmony with the music too.

LTJ Bukem - FABRICLIVE Promo Mix

DJ Fresh - Gold Dust

A couple of years ago, you couldn't go out to a D&B night without hearing Gold Dust dropped at least twice (along with Chase and Status' Take Me Away and Danny Byrd's Shock Out).

Now, with Fresh's new album Kryptonite about to drop, the original club banger has been re-released as a pop music bastardisation, leading to it getting quite a bit of Radio 1 airplay, and I fucking love it.

I dunno whether it's the strength of the original track shining through, or Ce'cile's fantastic vocals, but I'm really digging Gold Dust right now, despite the fact that Drum and Bass is serious business and this track is as far removed from serious as you can get.

Fresh has already had mainstream success with Hypercaine and Gold Dust deserves to do as well if not better. The album should be rather good too, packing as it does the monstrous Heavyweight.

Photek - Ni Ten Ichi Ryu [TeeBee Remix]

As established by Sir Issac Newton in his Principia Mathematica, clangy sword noises and samurai yelling instantly makes a good D&B track into an awesome one. Whilst Photek's original version is impressively atmospheric, Teebee's remix builds with a furious intensity that just makes you wanna run out and buy a katana and fight some crime.

Cyantific & Logistics - Brighter Day

FUCK YES.

The last time Cyantific and Logistics got together, they produced the brain-mangling Flashback , the stand out tracks on a whole album of stand-out tracks. Once again, Cyantific is really smashing things up, with Brighter Day due out on his own Cyantific label later this year, along with some proper jungle nonsense in the form of 88 MPH on the B side.

Keep plugged in to Cyantific's blog for news and gig updates, and be sure to grab the ridiculous Cyantific & Wilkinson remix of Kid Adrift's Oxytocin.
Proof that drum and bass ruins everything to perfection.

Etiquette Minefield: Choosing The Right Wine

Deciding on the right wine for the right situation can be a very daunting business. Walk in to any decent off-license or wine merchant and you're likely to be overwhelmed by the number and variety of wines on offer.

Most people who come to me for advice on wine are looking to pick something up for a small-scale social gathering, be it a dinner party, summer barbecue, key party or similar occasion. I am forever being asked, "What's a good wine for fish?" or, "How much should I spend on wine for a birthday present?" That's why I've put together this handy guide explaining the key points to consider when selecting wine, so that the next time you go out boozing, you can do so with confidence.

1. Price
There are essentially four layers of strata when it comes to wine pricing. Which price level you should choose will depend on a variety of factors:

£0.00 - £2.99 The most basic and horrible of plonk. Go for this if you hate everyone else at the party and want them to know it. Includes HappyShopper and Aldi own-brand wines, "homemade wine" and anything that says "Proudly Grown and Bottled in Great Britain" on the label.

£3.00 - £4.99 Once you get over the three pound mark, all wine basically begins to taste the same, but be careful with this stuff. Make sure you correctly judge the quality of the social affair you'll be attending. A £3.99 wine might be acceptable for a gathering of close friends during which you all get blitzed and play Wii Sports, but it is generally too acrid for a really posh dinner party with actual food.

£5.00 - £7.99 This brings us to the third category. Generally speaking, anywhere between a fiver and eight quid should net you a fairly decent wine, and you'll have paid out enough not to feel guilty about how much everyone else might have spent.

£8.00 - £230.00 Spend anything over £8.00 and you're essentially pissing money away, unless you're trying to impress the checkout lady. Also, although it is very unlikely, you run the risk that your host may know a thing or two about wine, recognize your generous purchase, and decide to "save it for another day" (i.e once everyone else has gone home). Acceptable perhaps, but only for those with more money than sense.

2. The Name/Label
Buying wine is very similar to another popular middle class past time; browsing Waterstones for rubbishy holiday paperbacks. People are pretty much always swayed by a nice cover, a wacky font and a catchy name. In my opinion, the label design is without a doubt the most important thing to consider when choosing your wine.

Check out these two examples:

Soaring Kite Viognier Riesling 2007
Wow! Soaring Kite? Doesn't that name paint a beautiful mental image of a majestic kite fluttering on the breeze? Look at that lovely picture on the bottle! If you bring this wine to a party, people will understand that you're artistic, intelligent, poetic and clearly know a lot about wine.

Joseph Drouhin Moulin-à-Vent 2008
I don't even know where to begin with this. What the hell is a Moulin-à-Vent? I think it translates as "windy sheep" or something but I could be wrong. And who is Joseph Drouhin? I have never heard of him, and neither will anyone else at the party. The bottle is boring, with no pretty pictures, and the name is bafflingly unpronounceable. Remember, choosing the right wine is all about impressing people with how smart you are. This stuff won't impress anyone.

As a general rule, you're better off going for a New World wine, because they have better names and prettier labels.

There are of course exceptions to this rule. For example, anything French with the word "Château" in the name and a picture of a tower on the label is usually a good call. Wack a bottle of this stuff on the table, and you and the rest of the guests will be transported back to Normandy of 1944, having just looted a German command post before heading back out into the bocage.


See what I mean?

Wines to Avoid
Remember, the most important thing about choosing wine is showing off how smart you are to people you secretly hate. No one is going to be impressed if you turn up with a wine they recognize from Sainsburys or because it is a proud sponsor of Come Dine With Me.

Therefore, make sure you give the following a wide berth:

Jacob's Creek
JP Chenet
Blossom Hill
Black Tower
Echo Falls
Casillero del Diablo
Wolf Blass
MD 20/20


Remember to ask yourself, what does your choice of wine say about you? This stuff says, 'I sit at home all day in my pants watching repeats of Friends on E4+1". Not very sophisticated, I think you'll agree.

Red or White?
There's an old wives' tale that suggests certain types of wine accompany certain foods better than others. I can tell you for a fact, this is a load of old rubbish. It might be true if you're actually eating decent food, but nine times out of ten, the wine won't make any difference. Red or white, meat or fish, the reason people drink wine is because of its alcohol content, not because they enjoy the subtle aroma of fruity tannins combining with chestnut and daffodil on the nose.

Dessert Wines
If you really want show people how sophisticated you are, I'd definitely recommend going for a dessert wine. It doesn't matter what as they're pretty much all horribly sweet to the point of being undrinkable and your bottle will most likely sit on the table unopened for the entire meal. If someone does accidentally open the dessert wine, make sure you pretend to enjoy drinking the stuff. The other diners will be disgusted by it, but impressed by your apparently refined palette.

Just look at that stuff. Yech!

If you stick to the above points, people will be impressed by your knowledge and ability with selecting wine. Everyone will think that you're much smarter than you really are and fame and fortune will almost certainly come your way. You might even end up writing for the Sunday Times Food and Drink supplement or something.

However, it might be handy to remember a few choice phrases to throw into conversation, just to remind people how much you know about wine. Here's a selection you can have for free:

"Of course there hasn't been a decent Malbec out of Argentina since 2006."

"Say what you like about it, but at the end of the day, Rioja is Rioja."

"I tend to find Pinot Noir a little too resilient for my liking."

"The thing with the Aussies is, it's not what they put into their wine, but what they take out."

If you have any questions about wine or wine tasting, hit me up on the email or Facebook and I'll try and answer as best I can.

Bon Appetit!

Logistics Live on 1Xtra 24/09/2009

Big mix from Logistics from last September.

01. SPY – Slum Dub (dub)
02. Fresh – Heavyweight (DSB)
03. Marky & SPY – Riff Raff (dub)
04. Logistics – Murderation (Hospital)
05. SPY – Dark Corners (Liquid V)
06. Fierce & Break – Hooligan (Quarantine)
07. Break – Bassface (dub)
08. SPY – A Trip (dub)
09. SKC – Off Guard VIP (Commercial Suicide)
10. Break – In Limbo (Quarantine)
11. Mindscape – Unknown (dub)
12. Subfocus – Follow The Light (Ram)
13. Metrik – Anthem 09 (Viper)
14. Logistics – Together (Hospital)
15. Logistics – Toytown (Hospital)
16. Sigma – Point It Back (dub)
17. Logistics – Cosmonaut (Hospital)
18. Logistics – Eastern Promise (Hospital)
19. Metrik – Forward Approaches (Viper)
20. Trei & State of Mind – Thunder Biscuit (Samurai)

Download here!

S.P.Y - By Your Side

Soaring, emotional stuff from S.P.Y. Apparently it's coming out on Spearhead or something once the samples are cleared.

Mortem - Whispers

Right, in order to give this stupid website a bit more structure, I'm gonna try and stick up at least one track that I'm currently enjoying on Monday, a mix later in the week, and then any other inane jabbering as and when I find the time.

I probably won't be able to stick to this new timetable though. I'm rubbish at that sort of thing.




Sinister glitchy Polish D&B from Mortem. Awesome use of the whispery samples makes it sound like something out of Lost, but backed up with a heavy Lynx-esque beat.

Check Mortem's MySpace for similar darkness.

The Hit

I sat in driver's seat, and thumbed through the folder Aleksander had given me. It felt like the thousandth time I'd seen this stuff. Photos, home and work addresses, phone numbers, vehicle plates, even a schedule of the target's daily routine. The Russians had really done their homework on this one. Everything that was needed to make the hit was in there. They just needed a trigger man. Someone deniable in case of blowback. A synapse, committing their impulse into one swift, bloody action. Somehow, this had come to be me. If I screwed this one up, I knew I'd be on my own, but that was always the way with this job; Rely on no one but yourself. Trust only your own instincts.

My mind raced back to the conversation I'd had with Aleksander two weeks prior. We'd sat in his opulent study, watched over all the while by a huge portrait of his grandfather Vitaly, and discussed his job offer.

"We want him taken out clean. None of that fucking mess like you made last time. You are lucky that we have chosen to give you another chance." Aleksander fixed me with his cold black eyes.

"Me, lucky?" I snorted. "Not when I'm dealing with you lot."

The expression on his face darkened. I knew it was dangerous to bait these guys, but I also knew that they needed me to do the job.

"This time we don't want it looking like an accident. We have decided that it is time we send a message," Aleksander grinned. "You will find all of the information that you will be needing in this case. Same pay as before."

The Russian slid a black briefcase across his desk towards me. I popped the clips open. It was packed with green hundred Euro notes. There was a beige A4 envelope sitting on top.


"Half now. Half on elimination of the target. Simples." He gave out a little squeak. They always seemed to make that sound when they felt things were going their way. I got up and left without another word being said.

That had been a fortnight ago.

Since then I had been doing my research, scoping out the target and plotting his daily movements. I was determined not to screw this one up like I had with the Jones hit. I still don't know what went wrong with that one, but at least the job had been done and I'd got out without being identified.

Now here I was, sitting in the car, with the engine off, preparing to kill a man who didn't even know I existed. I always found that this was the moment the job got to me. A man was about to die and he didn't even know it.

But fuck it, if I didn't do it, someone else would. At least I was a professional. I'd make it quick. This guy had only been on the scene for a short time and already he'd made a lot of enemies. Many people would consider me a hero for what I was about to do this night. Hell, most of them would probably claim they'd like to pull the trigger themselves.

I had no such illusions.

It was a rainy, moonless night, and I didn't expect there to be anyone about, but I checked my mirrors and stepped out of the car. You can never be too careful in this line of work. Quickly and purposefully I strode up the long drive to the target's house. My pulse quickened as I reached the front door. A few lights were still on, both upstairs and down. This was it. I clenched the gun in my hand. My palms were sweaty, but I knew what had to come next. I rang the doorbell and heard the chorus from George M Cohan's "Over There" reverberate out across the house.

Seconds passed, each one feeling like a lifetime. I could hear his footsteps approaching.

Finally, the door opened, and there on the threshold stood Gio Compario. I pulled out the gun and fired three shots. The opera singer slumped to the floor without making a sound. For once he was silent.

"Go compare this, motherfucker."

I turned back into the cold wet night and hurried towards the car. My hands were shaking as I reached for my phone and fired off a text to the Russians.

"It's done."

I turned the key in the ignition and headed off into the night. Five minutes later, my phone buzzed into life. A new message. It was Aleksander.

"We have some more work for you. Check out the picture below. Find him. Wack him. Simples."

Attached to the text message was a picture of a bald man sporting a cheeky grin. I recognized him immediately. It was Omid Djalili.


I let out a sigh.

Goddamn those fucking meerkats.

Summer Beats

Hurrah, the summer is here.

I thought I'd compile a bit of a list of summery D&B for those long evenings chilling in the garden, driving round town with all your windows down or just generally causing noise nuisance.

• For me, the summer of 2009 was completely dominated by Hospital Records' Sick Music, and for the summer of 2010, Hospital have given us Netsky's self-titled debut LP. Stand out tracks for me have to be Iron Heart and Secret Agent, both of which are definitely big club anthems, but sound equally at home on your stereo.
  
• Talking of Sick Music, 2010 has also seen the release of Sick Music 2, and whilst the general consensus seems to be that it's not quite as head-kickingly awesome as Volume 1, it is definitely worth a purchase. Sonic's All I Wanna Do and Turn Up (The Music) by Camo & Krooked have already been big tunes for me this spring, and there are plenty more great tracks on the album. Go get 'em!
  
• Further chilled summer vibes can be found with Robot Redford. Check out Bonfire Youth:
  
  
  
  More tracks and information on his MySpace page
  
  
• Another producer who seems to have really hit his stride recently is Lenzman.
  
  
  
  Also check out Lenzman's mix for Reprise Agency here
  
  
• Back on a Camo & Krooked tip, here's another hands in the air electro D&B anthem from Beta Recordings. Lovely stuff.
  
  
  
  
• Last up, I'll leave you with Airwalker's absolutely massive Big Sky. Shame the Summer Solstice was yesterday. This one would be perfect for raving round Stone Henge.
  

All that and it's still only June. Crikey.

SCRIPTS FOR THE SECOND SERIES OF LUTHER LEAKED!

Aight, don't ask me where I got these. I could get in quite a bit of trouble for posting this stuff. Also be aware that the there might be some spoilers.

Here's the first two pages of episode 4:



And here's the final page:



I dunno about you, but I can't wait for the new series!

Chris.SU - Mute Promo Mix

Heavy mix for June from Chris.SU, straight outta Hungary.

Consume!

Spiffing.

01. Chris.SU - Paralell
02. Spectrasoul - Bygones
03. Lenzman ft. Jo-S - Stellar
04. Nymfo - Matchstick
05. Spinline - Run
06. Rockwell - Full Circle
07. Total Science - Concrete Proof
08. Taxman - Dreamland
09. Lenzman ft. Riya - Bittersweet
10. Total Science - Above The Clouds
11. SKC - Heartbreak
12. Spectrasoul - Absentis
>>> Photek - Bleeps Tune
13. Chris.SU - Datahub
14. Break - Get Up
15. Logistics - Krusty Bass Rinser
16. Total Science & S.P.Y. - Locked In
17. D-Bridge & Jubei - Patience
18. Klute - Strange Dinner
19. Chris.SU - Solaris Theme
20. Bad Company UK - True Romance
21. Commix - Be True
22. Netsky - Eyes Closed
23. Camo & Kooked - Reincarnation
24. State Of Mind vs Chris.SU - True Deeper Kinetic

Ten Of The Best: Breakfast Wines

With all this talk of minimum pricing for alcohol and the Government threatening to raise the tax on white cider, I thought it might be a nice time to discuss that little considered category of booze; the breakfast wine.

Now obviously, any wine can be a breakfast wine, but here are ten of my favourites that I find particularly good at fighting off the shakes, nausea, hallucinations and other unfortunate side-effects generally felt after a month long bender.

1. Oxford Landing Cabernet Shiraz - £6.64 Per Bottle.


A spicy and poorly structured Cabernet, which rapidly differentiates into plum and liquorice on the palate. I find Shiraz wines particularly effective as an eye-opener because their high acidity and confrontational levels of tannins help to clear the fur from the tongue after a night on the organic scrumpy.



2. First Cape South African Rose - £3.20 Per Bottle.


Rose wines have seen a surge in popularity in recent years, particularly among underage drinkers. This is mainly due to their similarities in both appearance and taste to undiluted Robinson's High Juice. I find this cheeky little number the perfect "morning after" remedy to a weekend of manly lager drinking. Crispy and fresh, with just a hint of strawberry and blouses.



3. Wolf Blass Platinum Label Barossa Shiraz - £55 Per Bottle.


A fruity and magnanimous aroma which quickly gives way to a rich, velvety texture. Heavy on the nose, with a hint of uncontrolled riboflavin. £55 might seem like a lot to pay for a bottle of wine, but remember that you can fill the empty bottle up with any £2.99 corner shop red and return it to wherever you bought it, claiming that it's corked. It is highly unlikely anyone will argue with you, especially if you wear a bow tie.



4. Jacobs Creek Pinot Grigio - £6.64 Per Bottle.


Distinctive and zesty as only a Pinot Grigio can be, I find this one mixes particularly well with a half pint of gin and a few cans of that foul green energy drink that you can only buy in Poundland, for a perfect, "Get Me To The Job Centre On Time" pick me up.



5. Louis Roederer Cristal 2002 - £145 Per Bottle.


Champagne is lovely, so why save it for a special occasion? Live your life like an awful millionaire rap star and start your day with a couple of bottles of Cristal. Crisp and complex, with a disappointing finish that will leave you regretting spending nearly a grand on six bottles of fizzy water.



6. Chateauneuf-du-Pape Gonnet Freres 2006 - £18.99 Per Bottle.


A baffling and intensely fruity red, with crude, spicy notes on the palate. I include it in this list because the stuff has a very long lifespan and remains drinkable even as late as 48 hours after being poured. I've lost count of the number of times I've stumbled across a half finished glass whilst trying to clean up the morning after a debauched cheese and wine evening.



7. Warre's Warrior Port 75cl - £7.59 Per Bottle.


Whilst fortified wines have long been the preserve of alcoholic uncles and aunts, this soupy chap lashes out against such a fait accompli and prices itself into our breakfast range, offering a solid 20% ABV for a limited financial investment. Best served with a full English breakfast, including black pudding and Jaffa Cakes. It's certain to leave your heart pounding, and your left arm throbbing in pain.



8. Country Manor Medium Sweet (3L) - £11.99 Per Box.


Whilst not as sophisticated as some of the other wines on this list, Country Manor Medium Sweet has one major advantage over its more refined competitors and that is its vast bulk. Although not very strong at only 7.5%, the sheer volume of liquid available in a box of this stuff will easily keep you ticking over until lunch. Hostile, fruity notes combine with just a slight hint of Amyl Nitrite on the nose.



9. MD 20/20 - Roughly £4.99 Per Bottle.


MD 20/20 (also known as Mad Dog 20/20) isn't so much a breakfast wine as a cry for help, but due to the destructive effects it has on one's bowels, it'll certainly get you out of bed. Originally developed in the 1960s by the US Air Force as a high yield defoliant for deployment over the jungles of North Vietnam and Laos, MD 20/20 is actually quite hard to track down in the UK. I get mine imported direct from the US, but if you look hard enough in any dodgy London off-license, you're bound to find a few dusty bottles of the stuff. Even well after it's sell by date, it remains eminently drinkable. Definitely one for the cellar.



10. Carlsberg Special Brew - Approx. £5.99 for four cans.


And so finally we come to Carlsberg Special Brew. Self-proclaimed wine purists might argue that this stuff isn't a wine at all, but a super-strength lager. However, clocking in at a disconcerting 9% ABV. per can, I'd argue that it's basically a breakfast wine. Mixes the heady aroma of a Wigan Pier donk night, with the subtle tones of barley, similar to waking up on a brisk spring morning face down in the effluent channel of a Ukrainian coke plant, two miles outside the Chernobyl Exclusion Zone. If you're drinking this for breakfast, then you've probably given up on life. Two thumbs up.


If none of the above match your requirements for breakfast nourishment, then I can only recommend mixing and matching two or more of them together in a blender and stirring it into the breakfast cereal of your choice. By the time this stuff smashes its way into your hepatocytes, you won't even be able to say hangover.

All the best!